Why I’m Tired of Hearing About “Wokeness”

It’s 2018. We are seeing notable socio-cultural changes every day. A 99% Black movie is probably on pace to make half a billion dollars by the end of its first week out. There are white people who are willing to admit their privilege, and gay teens are unabashedly giving the object of their affection Valentine’s Day gifts on camera at school. Arguably, all this “wokeness” is great. People feel more affirmed, more comfortable in their own skin, and free to be who they are a la Marlo Thomas.

Unfortunately, that also means that people are free to be as openly daft as they can be as well.

when-you-clean-out-a-vacuum-cleaner-you-become-the-16022989

Being labeled “woke” is the new “smart.” It’s equivalent to the senior superlatives in high school and there are multiple trophies for that particular award. And, just like the senior superlatives, I find that being “woke” usually doesn’t amount to much and doesn’t necessarily have any basis in fact. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s great that people are starting to examine the systemic issues that have long plagued our society. Reflection and introspection is always a productive venture.

I just wish these “woke” people would get “woke” about the rudiments of life.

broadway bitchin'

Who wants to bet that if Broadway did that, the next Tumblr post would be about how it costs too much to buy so they still had to bootleg it because “poor people deserve” to experience Broadway too? -TWD

I can’t tell you how I cackled upon learning that there are books and classes for the generation who can explain why capitalism is evil to learn how to balance a checkbook or call and make a doctor’s appointment. The fact that these adults, in all their ire at the death of free checking, need help adulting between trying to argue you down on Facebook about why economically prudent procreation is a form of eugenics is one of the richest desserts that have landed on my plate.

 

 

When I was in the band in high school, there was a girl in our section (clarinet) who didn’t know her scales. We were all practicing and found out then, that despite decent performances in stage and field shows, she knew not one scale. She wasn’t kicked out of the marching band but she was placed in beginning band class so that she could at least learn her scales. We were all a little shocked. Even the band director would never have thought she didn’t know the basic nuts and bolts of the instrument she had been playing since elementary school. She was offended that she had to go and take a band class with 9th graders but alas, life isn’t fair.

To me, that illustrates the modern-day “woke” crew almost perfectly. They’ve learned just enough to deal with what’s in front of them and can even hear just well enough to blend in but when it’s time to deal with the things that require a foundation that allows them to actually maneuver themselves, they’re pretty much imposters.

abortion

Imagine being so “woke” that you don’t even want to call women, women. I’m pretty sure calling people something other than what they are is in the “woke” list of sins.-TWD

I have a working theory that the “woke” ones tend to sound and/or be ridiculous because they jumped from knowing a little bit of nothing to being “woke” and knowing everything in the “woke” handbook, but not much else (hence, the adulting books). They lack a knowledge base from which to build substantive or at least well-thought ideas. Add that to the fact that I believe many of these people are trying to use “wokeness” to try to heal unresolved personal issues and it makes for a pot of mishmash stew that’s only slightly edible.

lesbian trans

IDK if it’s true that she’s the only lesbian in porn but I’m still trying to figure out how being committed to “vagene” is transphobic…since, you know, “transwomen are women.” Oh wait….! – TWD

In that vein, I’m trying to figure out how the “woke” are any better than those who are asleep. I mean granted, the sleep people may not be able to offer such treasures as suggesting that lesbians are transphobic for shunning penis but as far as I’m concerned, both the sleep and the “woke” are using (or not) the same part of their brain to arrive at their respective life ideologies.

Can’t they all just get along?!

stop the madness

When are people going to get “woke” about the fact that you have to ring up the actual items you’ve selected in self-checkout or it’s theft; not a “poverty hack?” When are people going to get “woke” about the fact that their theft poverty hack is part of what makes the high prices they rail against high prices? Better yet, when will they be “woke” enough to not admit to theft in a public forum? When do they get “woke” about the fact that no business, especially not a bank, started on the premise of being nice to people irrespective of economic status? Can we get “woke” to the fact that if sexual orientation is innate, that will usually include genitalia? How about getting “woke” about how scamming the gas station with your debit card is not a feasible long-term plan?

Nothing big.

Just the simple shit.

I’m sure any “woke” person that reads this will call me sleep. I’m really more of a pragmatist who is socially conscious, yet plugged into reality at the same time. Most of my circle is the same way. And the beauty of it is that we didn’t have to consult Tumblr to get there.

jane

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